Didnt smoke on the way to work this morning, going to cut all morning cigarettes out.  Read more of Alan Carr’s Stop Smoking – EASYWAY, he says to smoke throughout the book freely – during the process of reading your desire to smoke will reduce, and by the end you wont want any more – still Im going to be prepared if the book doesnt work that Ive cut them out.

Had 2 at lunch, shouldnt have – but did. I feel bad, but dont – if you get what I mean.

I wish I was as busy as I am at work today all the time, then I just wouldnt even think about it at all.

Dont even think about it that much really, its just such a habit that it just happens!

7 Days till BREAKFREE (and hopefully I will have finished the book by then!!)

He seems to preach the fact alot that he will make me quit, and he is making it seem so believeable. He tells you that you can smoke as much as you like when reading it, apparently by the end of it you will put out your last one and then never have another one again? I hope this is true. I particularly like the fact that he says you need no willpower – which is definatley one thing I dont have!

My goal this morning was to drive to work and not smoke – and then to have them on my way home, therefore cutting out 2 in the morning.  I have altered this goal (hopefully for today only) as I had coffee before I left for work this morning – Im still not able to NOT associate coffee and cigarettes together, unless I am in my office.

Have had one cigarette this morning, if I feel like one (which at this stage I dont) I will have one on the way home. I’ve hidden them in my boot.

I wonder why I can go for 8 hours at work (sometimes 9) and not even get a craving for one, but the minute I leave I want one, I guess its my “routine” the thing I have to snap out of.

My boyfriend is being supportive this time, the other few times he hasnt – he has been “Ill believe it when I see it”.  This time I think he thinks if I can bother to read the books and actively try he will be supportive.  Usually just say “Im going to cut down” – which I believe I will but then just end up smoking twice as much.

So, hopefully my target for today is 2, if not 1. Im compensating with sweets, I have to kick that right now. Off to the supermarket to buy fresh juice and fruit and veg!

Day 2 – not smokefree just yet.  8 days until BREAK FREE.

Cigarette Count so far today (2:06pm): 1

My last post referenced the question as to why everyone decides to be an asshole, bitch, complicated, angry, stupid idiot to you the day you decide to quit smoking.  Although I am not overly busy or stressed at work at the moment (which is why I chose to quit during this quiet time) today was superbly horrible – I was running around trying to do everything perfectly, but when  you work for people where nothing is ever perfect its hard to remain calm.

I had a doctors appointment that I was rushing to so avoided all of the “drive home” urges as I couldnt stop to get any cigarettes, little did I know it while I was in the supermarket buying my lean cuisine before I knew it I was at the cigarette counter buying a pack of 20′s (is that better than buying my normal 30′s?) and a new lighter (remember I chucked all my smoking parephenalia out last night).  I smoked half of it before putting it out due to feeling overly light headed and a bit dizzy – I dont smoke a hell of alot anyway (about 6-8 per day) so not having one for a day set me back. 

In the book I am reading “Stop Smoking Naturally” it asks you to smoke up until a deadline date – which they call a “Break Free Day” but they ask you to try and change surroundings or habits you have in relation to smoking.  There is no doubt in my mind that smoking in my car is my biggest habit – 2 on the way to work and 2 on the way home, if I travel to my boyfriends house there is another 2.  So, my tactic is to NOT smoke on the way to work in the morning – therefore cutting out 2 cigarettes a day which will get me down to 2-4 per day, I plan to do this for one week.  Weekends will be interesting, but I guess I will get to that when I come to it.  I believe the easiest way to accomplish not smoking much on the weekend is to ensure I hang out at my parents house the whole time.  My parents know I smoke BUT I dont like to smoke in front of them or when theyre around.  I wish it were payday Id go shopping to avoid it.

My Break Free Day is July 18th, which is a Saturday.  This is the day I have made my dentist appointment to get my teeth whitened, I am spending $700 to get this done, so I dont really want to go ruining it with restaining my teeth.  I cannot drink coffee or coke for 3 days after the whitening process, and having no coffee will go hand in hand with no cigarettes. 

So, I think I was slightly ahead of myself thinking I could go cold turkey straight up – especially being someone with extremely low willpower and especially since I havent finished reading the book, nor have I started what everyone says to be the most popular – Alan Carr’s Stop Smoking book. I plan to finish both books and have an extreme understanding of what I am doing and how I am going to do it before I completely stop.

Some things I am going to do on the weekend to clear my mind are:

1. Walk my Dog – take him to the park and throw a ball around for at least an hour
2. Bath and Clip my dog
3. Take a trip to JB HI FI and buy a few seasons of a TV show – which will keep me sitting and distracted for hours
4. Take a long walk (dog-free) with NO ipod and clear my head
5. Clean up my wardrobe (despite doing it not long ago – it still needs work
6. Take a trip to Kmart to buy some hooks – and rehang some photos
7. Take my mum to lunch
8. Paint Nails
9. Take a bath
10. Put on some fake tan
11. Do a face mask and other pampering tasks
12. Buy a crossword book to keep me busy
13. Buy a colouring book and pencils (I have read that it distracts your hands and mind to prevent cravings)

I have a 21st birthday on Friday Night, which is mainly non smokers aside from my sister-in-laws partner – who always comes to me to go out for smokes with him, so I guess my biggest challenge will be saying NO to him, if I do give in and say yes – it will be once, and once only.

I am annoyed at the fact that despite wanting so much to stop, its all I think about. I am hoping this blog clears my thoughts when I need to get rid of them.

Hope you are having an easier and better time at this than I am.

Total cigarettes today: 2.5

I checked the books out of the library immediatley and spent the next 3 hours on the couch with my partner reading and discussing my quitting smoking.  Last time I quit I stopped for a week.  The book I began with was “Stop Smoking Naturally” which is completely my bible over this journey (Im just going to keep rechecking it out of the library until I think Ive done well enough to hand it back).  It advises techniques, theories, affirmations for your time through being a non smoker.  It has made me see quitting in a whole different light, like I am quitting because I want the following…. these were a list of reasons we wanted to quit that she asks you to make:

1. I want my health – first and foremost.
2. I want to become alot more active – being a smoker doesnt give me the energy to want to do it.
3. I dont want to be short of breath from just walking a short distance
4. I am getting my teeth whitened this month, and dont want to ruin that with smoke
5. I dont want my hair to smell of smoke
6. I dont want my car to smell like smoke – or my dog to be in the car when Im smoking
7. I want my boyfriend to be able to kiss me without saying “brush your teeth first”
8.  I dont want to be socially excluded at events – being the only one, or one of a few that smoke

It talks about setting a “Break Free Date” and smoke up until this date – but I thought Id try one better, as I had already cut down alot, smoking only about 5 on average per day. So, last night I got in my car (whilst totally kitted out in my PJ’s and slippers) and drove around the block smoking one last cigarette, and then ripped the rest in half and threw them out the window along with my 2 lighters, I must say it was highly cleansing.  Since then I havent really had a “craving” – the only craving I got was when I was in the car which is my main smoking place.

I already feel healthier inside I dont feel as short of breath, however I am noticing myself eating more which I allowed on Day 1, but as of tomorrow its fruit, water and vegetables (High Alkaline foods like these are easier in getting you to quit, they apparently reduce the cravings).

Drinking Coffee is banned on a weekend or with friends for me – only allowed to drink it at work, otherwise I am pretty sure I will want a cigarette, at home or with friends it is going to be tea, as I dont like smoking with a cup of tea.  I am avoiding social drinking situations for the next few weeks where possible and avoiding one of my only friends that smokes completely despite her asking to meet me for coffee this Thursday – I am going to email her later to explain the situation. I just cant be around people who I used to “hang with” and “smoke with”.

I walked past someone today who was smoking and the smell made me feel ill, Ive never been a fan of the smell anyway but today it was particularly worse.

Tonight I am going to cook a healthy meal (lean cuisine – but its the best one, its healthy I promise) and go to my boyfriends house – he has a weights set, so I might even start on that.  I have decided that when I get a craving or urge to smoke that I will simply do some form of exercise…. any form, so long as it keeps my mind busy.

I dont think this is going to be too hard at all. But Im still scared.

Logging off, smoke free – for almost a day.

I was cool calm and totally collected while they were ripping them to pieces, totally content with the fact that they were gone from my life forever.

I lasted one week, which I was very proud of at the time, but one week was not good enough really, I caved when I went to my hairdresser to get my hair done, she is a smoker – a heavy smoker.  When she has finished doing my hair we sit on the balcony and smoke and drink coffee and chat – its the highlight of the hairdresser trip, thats where I stumbled and since that day where I knew I would be smoking so brought a fresh deck, I havent gone a single day without at least one smoke.

After that week I felt so confident that I would be able to quit, but I was just sucked in…. and fell straight back into the hole.

This time, Im going to do it properly – Ive done alot of reading on the subconsious during smoking, how diet, exercise and water along with deep breathing is all you need to break free.  I have also read a alot of material that advises you to write a diary or express your feelings in some way.

The reason I chose to blog mine is that at the moment my job is extremely quiet, I can busy myself with stuff that doesnt really need doing if I want… but most of the time I do stuff online until a ‘pressing job’ needs doing, so by blogging I can do it at work and home and dont have to cart a horrible diary with me everywhere and WRITE in it. eek.

I also hope that this helps people, leave comments – follow my blog – email me and we can stay in touch through the process and encourage each other along.

I wish everyone that is reading this GOOD LUCK.